One of the Hardest Questions

When one suddenly finds out they've got stage 4 cancer, it usually means they've unknowingly had it for awhile. With 5 young children at that time, soon after surgery, it struck me one day that I probably had cancer while pregnant with many of them.

When I realized that, it felt as if a bowling ball, falling from the top of the sky, had landed hard (very hard) in the pit of my stomach. Had I passed on lung cancer to my children during pregnancy? I remember forming that question in my mind, but getting the words out to the doctor was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Asking it was worse than trying to run in a dream. The thought of unknowingly hurting one of my children in such a way was...worse than...it was worse than I can even try to explain.

Then the doctor answered as best they could in English and drew a diagram to help me understand better. Essentially, the cancer hormone/protein/or whatever it's called is too big to cross the placenta! So, none of my 5 children could catch it from me!

If relief were a fountain, I was a geyser. If Mt. Everest itself could represent the height of the geyser, that definitely would have described me!

It was SO GOOD to learn that lung cancer CANNOT cross the placenta! Praise God!!!!!!!!